"Praise to the Lord, Who over all things so wondrously reigneth,
Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!
Hast thou not seen how they desires ever have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?"
We went to church on Wednesday night for the first time since Gwen was born. We rushed the kids into the nursery and made our way into the fellowship hall. During the summer, different people have been giving the devotions or scripture challenges for the Wednesday night prayer meetings. I am sorry that I have missed so many of them because I heard they have been really good. Last night, Stan, shared from Psalm 107 and also from the song "Praise to the Lord, The Almighty". I personally was challenged and the Lord spoke to my heart and I thought you might be encouraged/challenged as I share.
Since I was a little girl I dreamed of many things. Obviously I dreamed of one day getting married, having kids, decorating my home, basically living the American dream, right? I mean what little girl doesn't want to live that life? Throughout college as Philip and I dated we prayed and talked about missions. My heart was excited and I was on board with what the Lord had planned for us. We got married, started the process to "become" missionaries, and life seemed like it was all as it was suppose to be. Then we had Adalynn, our first baby. She was (still is) as precious as ever. The mother inside of me wanted to provide for her the way any normal mother wanted to. I was sad I didn't get to decorate a nursery for her and do "normal" mom stuff, but I got over it and knew that my situation was different. I was once again excited as our family of 3 packed and went away to Russia for our first missionary journey together. I knew the Lord had us in His hands, right where He wanted us.
A few months ago we flew back to the States and had our second baby, Gwen. Oh how precious it is to have 2 little girls. Sometimes I look at me holding one girl and Philip holding the other and I am overwhelmed at how good the Lord has been to us, giving us these precious children. Once again, the mother in me, the woman in me, wants to "provide" for my girls, my family. Having 2 children now has made me start to slowly wonder what life would be like in the States. What color would I paint my living room? How would I decorate the girls' rooms? What would life be like with Philip gone all day and the girls and I to be "normal" as we stayed at home, went to the library, grocery shopping, or whatever "normal" moms do...I just started wondering. Then I started to think about all the things I didn't have. Why Lord do I not have my own house? Why Lord do I not do "normal" mom stuff with my girls on my own without feeling like I need help from Philip? Why don't I...Didn't the Lord remember what I dreamed about when I was little? As I started to think these thoughts and started to wonder why I am living the missionary life, the Lord started to speak to me.
"Hast thou not seen how they desires ever have been granted in what He ordaineth?
The Lord has not forgotten about me. I suppose I have forgotten who the Lord is...He loves and cares for me, and has not just placed these desires in my heart to then turn around and make me only dream about them. How foolish I have been to be thinking only about my desires and not trusting the Lord in what He will give me...and when He will fulfill those dreams.
Someone said last night, "We should be praying that the way we live is in such a way that people see Jesus through us". I haven't been praying lately that people would see Jesus in me, I think I have been thinking about how people will view the "Kara" that is in me.
God is good at speaking to us, isn't He? Here I am once again excited to be side by side with my husband and our 2 little girls as we journey forward in what the Lord has in store for our family.
Blessings,
Kara, Philip, Adalynn, and Gwen
Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!
Hast thou not seen how they desires ever have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?"
We went to church on Wednesday night for the first time since Gwen was born. We rushed the kids into the nursery and made our way into the fellowship hall. During the summer, different people have been giving the devotions or scripture challenges for the Wednesday night prayer meetings. I am sorry that I have missed so many of them because I heard they have been really good. Last night, Stan, shared from Psalm 107 and also from the song "Praise to the Lord, The Almighty". I personally was challenged and the Lord spoke to my heart and I thought you might be encouraged/challenged as I share.
Since I was a little girl I dreamed of many things. Obviously I dreamed of one day getting married, having kids, decorating my home, basically living the American dream, right? I mean what little girl doesn't want to live that life? Throughout college as Philip and I dated we prayed and talked about missions. My heart was excited and I was on board with what the Lord had planned for us. We got married, started the process to "become" missionaries, and life seemed like it was all as it was suppose to be. Then we had Adalynn, our first baby. She was (still is) as precious as ever. The mother inside of me wanted to provide for her the way any normal mother wanted to. I was sad I didn't get to decorate a nursery for her and do "normal" mom stuff, but I got over it and knew that my situation was different. I was once again excited as our family of 3 packed and went away to Russia for our first missionary journey together. I knew the Lord had us in His hands, right where He wanted us.
A few months ago we flew back to the States and had our second baby, Gwen. Oh how precious it is to have 2 little girls. Sometimes I look at me holding one girl and Philip holding the other and I am overwhelmed at how good the Lord has been to us, giving us these precious children. Once again, the mother in me, the woman in me, wants to "provide" for my girls, my family. Having 2 children now has made me start to slowly wonder what life would be like in the States. What color would I paint my living room? How would I decorate the girls' rooms? What would life be like with Philip gone all day and the girls and I to be "normal" as we stayed at home, went to the library, grocery shopping, or whatever "normal" moms do...I just started wondering. Then I started to think about all the things I didn't have. Why Lord do I not have my own house? Why Lord do I not do "normal" mom stuff with my girls on my own without feeling like I need help from Philip? Why don't I...Didn't the Lord remember what I dreamed about when I was little? As I started to think these thoughts and started to wonder why I am living the missionary life, the Lord started to speak to me.
"Hast thou not seen how they desires ever have been granted in what He ordaineth?
The Lord has not forgotten about me. I suppose I have forgotten who the Lord is...He loves and cares for me, and has not just placed these desires in my heart to then turn around and make me only dream about them. How foolish I have been to be thinking only about my desires and not trusting the Lord in what He will give me...and when He will fulfill those dreams.
Someone said last night, "We should be praying that the way we live is in such a way that people see Jesus through us". I haven't been praying lately that people would see Jesus in me, I think I have been thinking about how people will view the "Kara" that is in me.
God is good at speaking to us, isn't He? Here I am once again excited to be side by side with my husband and our 2 little girls as we journey forward in what the Lord has in store for our family.
Blessings,
Kara, Philip, Adalynn, and Gwen
What a sweet reminder of truth! Reading your (very honest) post was a blessing to me... someone still in the "when I grow up, I want to..." stage, yet wanting to hold firm to that perspective as I move forward... your thoughts are refreshing!
ReplyDeletetears in my eyes...I know just how you feel girl! Thanks for the encouragement and for speaking to my heart as well!
ReplyDeleteLove yoU!
probably your best post ever. and those thoughts and emotions are normal; it's okay to acknowledge that life is different and you're "missing out" on "normal" things. But you're right--the Lord knows and see and He will exceed and give back to you in ways that will deeply bless you. It isn't sacrifice if there isn't a slight pull in your humanity. Excited for how He's revealing His goodness and faithfulness to you! loves.
ReplyDelete